Kako mi na Balkanu ubijamo pacove
Želim da vam ispričam priču kako mi na Balkanu ubijamo pacove. Imamo metod da preobratimo pacova u vuka. Ali pre nego što to objasnim, želela bih da saznate nesto više o samim pacovima. Pre svega, pacovi konzumiraju ogromnu količinu hrane, nekada dva puta više od njihove težine. Njihovi prednji zubi neprestano rastu i oni moraju neprestano da se oštre inače bi se udavili.
Vode mnogo računa o svojoj porodici i nikada ne bi ubili ili pojeli svoga člana. Oni su izuzetno inteligentni. Ajnštajn je rekao: ako bi pacov bio 20 kilograma teži, definitivno bi bio vladar sveta. Ako bi se ispred njega stavio tanjir s otrovnom hranom, osetio bi to i ne bi jeo.
Metod
Da se uhvati pacov treba ispuniti rupe vodom i jednu ostaviti otvorenom. Tako se može uhvatiti 30-40 pacova. Izabrati samo mužjake, staviti ih u kavez i dati im samo vodu da piju. Ogladneće, prednji zubi će rasti. Ipak, genetski neće ubijati članove svoje porodice. Suočavaće se sa smrću – davljenjem. Biće primorani da ubijaju slabije u njihovom kavezu, pa slabijeg od slabijeg, sve dok onaj najjači od svih ne ostane sam u kavezu. Tada hvatač pacova nastavlja da mu daje samo vodu. U tom trenutku osećaj vremena je jako važan. Njegovi zubi rastu. Kada hvatač vidi da je ostalo još samo pola sata pre nego što se pacov udavi, on otvori kavez, uzme nož, izvadi mu oči i oslobodi ga.
Sada je pacov nervozan, besan, u panici. Suočava se sa smrću, trči u pacovske rupe i ubija svakog pacova koji mu je na putu, sve dok ne naiđe na superiornijeg od sebe. Taj, onda, ubija njega. To je način kako mi na Balkanu pravimo tog vuka-pacova”
How we in the Balkans kill rats
I´ d like to tell you a story of how we in the Balkans kill rats. We have a method of transforming the rat into a wolf; we make a wolf rat. But before I explain this method I´ d like to tell you something about rats themselves.
First of all, rats consume large quantities of food, sometimes double the weight of their own bodies. Their front teeth never stop growing and they have to be ground constantly otherwise they risk suffocation.
Rats take good care of their families. They will never kill or eat the members of their own family. They are extremely intelligent. Einstein once said: “If the rat were 20 kilos heavier it would definitely be the ruler of the world”. If you put a plate of food and poison in front of a hole the rat will sense it and not eat.
The Method
To catch the rats you have to fill all their holes with water, leaving only one open. In this way you can catch 35 to 45 rats. You have to make sure that you choose only the males. You put them in a cage and give them only water to drink. After a while they start to get hungry, their front teeth start growing and even though, normally, they would not kill members of their own tribe, since they risk suffocation they are forced to kill the weak one in the cage. And then another weak one, another weak one, and another weak one. They go on until only the strongest and most superior rat of them all is left in the cage. Now the rat catcher continues to give the rat water. At this point timing is extremely important. The rat´ s teeth are growing. When the rat catcher sees that there is only half an hour left before the rat will suffocate he opens the cage, takes a knife, removes the rat´ s eyes and lets it go. Now the rat is nervous, outraged and in a panic. He faces his own death and runs into the rat hole and kills every rat that comes his way. Until he comes across the rat who is stronger and superior to him.
This rat kills him.
This is how we make the wolf rat in the Balkans.